Be who you are

No human being is perfect though it is said that practice makes a man perfect. Every human being is different and distinct in an own way. No two human beings can be same both mentally and physically. Every human being has a distinct feature. The way a person act, work, think and react is some how different from others though there are still some sorts of commonalities among human beings. Hence, every single person on this planet is unique and dissimilar in an individual way. That may be the reason one can not be the replica of another person completely. It is natural that people become impressed from their significant others. However, how hard might a person wish to be the same person as the significant others, those dreams can never be fulfilled entirely. These might be easily possible in fairy tales and some fiction stories but not in reality.
I always dream of having some virtues which my friends possess. To make it come true, I tried many times and also, gave up repeatedly. Sometimes, I become green-eyed not having such desirable qualities with me. I wonder and ponder why I do not possess that excellence for what my friends are bestowed with. I had so many of friends who were really good at memorizing all the questions and answers from top to bottom without even missing a single word though it is not practical all the time. I happened to feel bad when I could not learn by heart like them for the exams. I used to be disappointed and frustrated many more times not having memory power like my friends. I was the only person whose exam answers used to be completely different from the class mates since I always tried to write the answers in my own way. During my school time, I was compelled to believe that the more you are good at memorizing, the more you are good at your study. But I still remember one of my teachers suggesting me to keep it up in writing answers in my own way being creative and constructive. He encouraged me not to learn by heart like my friends and suggested me to keep doing what I had been doing. Since then I completely gave up memorizing the text answers line by line and word by word. Instead, I focused in understanding the contexts which was encouraged by my teachers.
Every coin has two sides. The habit of ignoring the practice of memorizing the notes in the past left me far behind. I lose my patience whenever I have to memorize something especially during the exam time. I become so nervous that I can not even memorize few lines though I can make sense of the context. This side effect can be noticed with me specially when I sit down with my friends and start singing. Unless I look at the lyrics, I can not sing a complete song since I can not remember the lyrics of any song except few songs. I feel myself like dumb especially when I am with “Antakshari” group though I enjoy being a part of such amusing group. Similarly, I always have hard time in remembering the names of the movies and filmy characters and it does not really matter even if I have watched the same movie over and over. In addition to this, I am also worst in recalling the title songs and name of the artists.
So far, it has not been a real problem in my career and personal life for being absent minded in context to the songs and movies. What ever my friends are attributed with and what ever my weakness is, the fact is that I can not be the person who I am not. Therefore, I enjoy being who I am since it is not worth wasting time regretting for what one does not have.

The grass is greener on the other side

"The Grass is greener on the other side"

I have seen many of my friends who are not satisfied with their profession. I have heard much dissatisfaction from their mouths about their occupation. Clouds of discontent have overshadowed their faces. I have also noticed that they were the happiest ones when they first got into their line of work. One of my friends went through so much frustration when he had to be jobless for several months though he tried so hard not leaving any stone unturned. He went through depression and almost lost his hope of being employed in Nepal. He regretted for coming back to Nepal after he graduated from the American university. I still remember him telling me that he should have stayed in the US doing some entry level jobs rather than being unemployed in Nepal. Eventually, before he lost his final hope, his untiring job hunting quest paid him back and got a nice job which he liked very much. He was so much enthralled and excited that he threw a big party to his closest friends including me. His family members and friends were so glad to see him getting a reputable and well paid job. This unexpected success made him think that everything happens for a good reason. He comforted himself saying that he got to stay unemployed for so many months because the best job had been waiting for him. He then started telling other friends not to lose hope at any difficult situation and suggested friends to be optimistic in life. “Life could be prickly and thorny but one needs to know how to do away with prickly thorns on the way,” says he. Once he got the job, he became the man of dreamer. Sense of confidence and contentment got developed with him day by day. The lines of pessimism have gotten rid of his face. He wished he could always be like that.
It has been almost a year since he began his first job after his graduation. Now, I notice that he is no more the same person. It is said that everything changes with time; so is he. Within a year he has already changed his job more than twice. Soon, he no more likes his recent work and thinks that he got stuck with it. Dissatisfaction and displeasure reclaimed in his life. He complains that he got bored of working with new environment and therefore, expects to have a nice break. At present, he regrets quitting his earlier job. He did not realize the importance of his previous job until he lost it. He forgot his ‘self’ and tried finding ‘others’ in him comparing himself more with others. He found the grass on the other side greener. Losing his patience, he failed to bear in mind that other people (as he does) notice the grass on his side greener. His friends still think that he is marching ahead on his career path so well that they dream of following his foot steps. Contrary to what others think about him, he saw the half water filled glass as half emptied.
It is always good to be ambitious and think of better options in life since it is one of the encouraging parts in human lives. Many of the times, this leads to the path of success. However, happiness and satisfaction needs to be discovered within the self since it is veiled within the person. My friend has a dream but his haste turned out to be waste. He became a rolling stone which could not gather moss. I hope my friend will discover happiness soon and notice the grass on his side greener.

Rendezvous with US Ambassadors

Present US Ambassador to Nepal, Nancy Powell (2007) (above) and former US Ambassador to Nepal, James F. Moriarty (2005) with Nepali PLUSers

Flashback of Summer 2006 in D.C.

Date: 10th October ’06
I learned a big lesson from the terrible winter break of 2005. I knew that it would be too boring if I stayed in the abandoned and vacant dorm doing nothing for the whole summer. I had a hard time spending Thanks Giving holidays last year not having anything to do and no where to go. I felt suffocated and depressed during that time. The whole dorm, where I lived, was locked with no visitation policy. I was in a nowhere situation. That was the most dreadful experience I ever had in my life. I do not know how Robinson Crusoe, the title character in Daniel Defoe’s novel, could live alone on an isolated island for many years. I know for sure that I would die with hopelessness in such a situation.
I was excited about my decision to go Washington D.C., the capital city of the Untied States of America, for summer 2006. I had been to D.C. a couple of times before; once during the summer of 2005 for few days as a visitor and the next time for a conference. During January, it was so cold. We went on a sightseeing tour at night due to time constraints. It was not just cold but was freezing cold with damn bone-penetrating wind. I wore the warmest and thickest winter clothes I had, but they did not work at all. I felt I was wearing thin cotton clothes which did not prevent me from that nasty coldness. I would die if I had to stay for more hours tolerating that freezing cold. I was not able to utter a single word. All the warm words which I wanted to speak out of my mouth were frozen abruptly. The coldness made me numb and dumb; it made my body frozen and made me unable to talk. My excitement was lost gradually in that extreme coldness. The tour was not worthwhile at all to me. The Capital building, Lincoln Memorial Building, Library of Congress, Memorial monument, Museums, and The White House, none of them could impress me particularly that night. I wished all those buildings could warm us that night since that powerful political city has power to create hot debate and sensation in the world.
According to my plan, I was in D.C. by the second week of May for a summer internship. After a one and one-half hour flight from Huntsville airport to Ronald Reagan International airport, my friend and I took a cab to The Catholic University of America where we were supposed to stay for the whole summer. The cab took about fifteen minutes to reach 620 Michigan Avenue, Brookland, Spellman building. I was tired that day, but I got relief thinking that we could have lots of fun with our friends. By 10 p.m. that night I became so hungry. We ordered Chinese food from the Hunan Delight restaurant.
I thought D.C. would be cool during summer and would not be as hot as in the south, where I have been continuing my academic courses. I was shocked by the weather of D.C. It was too cold during winter and too hot during summer. I did not expect D.C. to be so hot during summer because of the coldness I experienced during that cold, winter night.
I had an interview with an organization called DirectDialogue some days after I reached D.C. I was excited that it was paid internship. I had to find the location of that organization. I Google-searched the map and took the metro from Brookings station to the Capital South metro station, changing green line metro and blue line metro at Gallery Place, Chinatown and L’Enfant Plaza respectively. I had trouble finding that organization though I had printed location of the direction on a paper. I did not know which direction to follow. At least if I had known one of the directions East, West, North or South, I could have figured out the rest of the other directions and followed the paper direction accordingly. At that particular time, I realized that I had very poor knowledge about directions. Eventually, I found myself asking somebody about that organization, standing just in front of the same organization building. I was happy that I could find the right building. But on the other hand, I almost died since I had to walk more than 20 minutes under the scorching sun. I felt stupid for wearing a suit on that melting day just to be formal.
Some days after, I got an internship at Osgood Center for International Studies. It lies at the John Hopkins University building, close to DuPont Circle, Washington, D.C. The first day of my internship was to attend a book review session. It was at the Brookings Institute, DuPont Circle. Peter Beinart, a Brookings nonresident fellow, was briefing on his published book, The Good Fight: Liberals, Conservatives and the War on Terror.
The next day on June 8th, I went to a hearing at The Rayburn Office building, south of the Capitol on a site bounded by Independence Avenue, South Capitol Street, First Street, and C Street, S.W. The topic of the event was “Review of Iraq Reconstruction.” The chairman, Henry J. Hyde, opened the conference with the news of the death of Abu Musab al- Zarqawi, Iraqi’s most wanted terrorist. He mentioned that his unexpected death was a conquest in the Global War on Terror.
For the whole summer I had been to many events and hearings. Most of the events took place at The Brookings Institute, Rayburn House Office Building, Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, United States Institute of Peace (USIP), American Enterprise Institute (AEI), Cato Institute, Center of American Progress (CAP), Heritage Foundation, Hudson Institute, and Carnegie Endowment. I met experts from the State Department, Department of Defense and National Security Council, members of Congress, leading minds in think tanks, ambassadors, ministers and pioneers in non-profit and non-governmental organizations in those events, hearings, symposiums and meetings.
Continuing my internship with Osgood Center, I started another part time internship with Washington Peace Center. Though I did not have to do lots of work in this organization, I can never forget the day when I had to go around the D.C. to leave newsletters of this organization by walking. It was the toughest job I had ever done in my life. I feel ashamed to disclose that I took geography class for two semesters and still I did not have good knowledge about directions. I was given map directions where I had to leave those four bundles of newsletters on a small wheeler. I was sure that I would get confused with the directions. Thinking that I would at least learn about directions, I did not refuse that work. I had to go around metro stations making 360 degree angle of Washington Peace Center and leave those newsletters at many member shops. I did not know where I was heading, but still I tried asking many people. I revisited the same street many times getting confused about which way to head. Bundles of newsletters fell down from the small wheeler many times which made me awfully tired. I bought some cold drinks to quench my thirst. My whole body sweated as if I was soaked by rain. I walked through Smithsonian museum, Federal triangle metro station, Metro center, and Chinatown. I could not imagine that I walked alone like a crazy person wearing formal dress with tie on my neck. Finally when I reached Gallery Place, Chinatown, it was already late to go back to office. So, I threw a big bundle of newsletters on the dustbin because I did not want to return with that heavy bundle of newsletters.
That day, I had to walk about 2 miles from Brookland metro station to the dorm, which made me more tired and exhausted. After taking rest for a while, I took a shower and lay on the couch in the T.V. lounge to watch the World Cup soccer match between Trinidad & Tobago and England. England scored 2 goals after 83 minutes of the game. That evening, I went to Giant with some of my friends to buy food for the whole week since we had to cook different kinds of food every night for ten people. Giant food store was two metro stops from our dorm. We took a cab from Rhode Island metro station to Spellman hall after we finished shopping.
On one weekend I went to a musical program at Kennedy Center near George Washington University. After the ode performance from a renowned musician from Iraq, there was a break for about 20 minutes at that evening. Everyone attending at the program stepped out of the building to watch the sun set in the west across Arlington, Virginia. The Potomac River below the Kennedy Center was another attraction to many viewers. We could see colorful reflection of the sunset on that river.
DuPont Circle Park was another place which fascinated me most of the time when I was tired and wearied. Most of the South Asian restaurants like The Mount Everest, Polo India, Thai herbs, or Hunan Chinese food lie at the peripheral distance of the park. The fountain at the middle of the park and grassy ground with many tables and benches to sit down made the park more attractive.
Among all the places I had visited in D.C., The Washington Monument and The United States Holocaust Museum were unforgettable. Washington D.C. seems to be well planned when viewed from the topmost part of the monument. It helps visitors to see a spectacular sight of fine-looking D.C. The intersection roads were very straight and the buildings built together at rectangular shapes showed well-organized town planning of D.C. The Jefferson monument at the middle of the beautiful Potomac River was so clear and fascinating especially, when observed from the monument. The mesmerizing Washington monument was built in honor of George Washington, the first president of United States. Typically different from Washington monument, the Holocaust Museum diverted my mind for many days. I saw the videos of many kinds of persecution of European Jews. The Nazis murdered about six million Jews in Germany during World War II.
The other famous places which visitors do not want to miss in D.C. are The White House, Smithsonian Museum, American Indian Museum, Air and Space Museum, National Gallery of Art, Capital Building, Lincoln Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, National Museum of Natural History and so on. The most interesting part about these museums is that most of these museums have free entrance.
Over all, I was more than happy that I could utilize my time doing internship in D.C. being far away from boredom and depression. I also got credit for those internships. The most important thing is that I learnt more about D.C. and met many people. D.C. is an important place to be visited once in a life time.

Turtles can fly

Date: 24th October ’06

Turtles can fly

I did not know that turtles could fly. I never heard this before, but I knew that turtles can swim in the water. After all, I got confused when I heard the movie entitled Turtles Can Fly. The title made me curious to watch the movie. The next thing which created enthusiasm in me to watch this movie is because I have a friend from Kurdistan and the movie is about the story of refugee children living in the border of Iraqi Kurdistan. The movie is in Kurdish language. The subtitle in English made it easy to understand the story. Before watching this movie, I had little knowledge about Kurdistan, the Northern part of Iraq. I also heard that Kurds have no friends but mountains. Through Turtles Can Fly a real picture of the life of the refugee people in the border of Iraq is portrayed well. Children without hands, arms, or legs who are the victims of the horrible time in Kurdistan are shown strong in working hard and risking their lives for the sake of their survival. Though they look like turtles in physical appearances, these types of turtles are different in ideal because they are very powerful that they can fly.
I found this movie to be one of the best movies I have ever watched in my life. This is not like a movie for me; it’s a depiction of the real lives of many destitute children in Kurdistan, near the Iraq and Turkey border. The most important part of the movie is that there is nothing imaginary; every thing is about the real pathetic story of the children. I felt like I was present in some parts of Kurdistan and watching the kids with a gasp of desperation. I could envision their heart breaking and ruthless lives. The non professional characters in the movie seem to be playing their own role. The movie contains horror, humor, honor and compassion.
The movie starts with a suicide attempt by Agrin, a teenage girl, one of the main characters of the movie, whose parents were killed by the soldiers of Saddam Hussein during terrific chemical attack at Halabja, one of the towns in Kurdistan, in 1988. Agrin, who is merely a teenage girl, was raped by the soldiers. She came to another village with a three year old blind child and her armless brother who lost his both arms because of land mines that Saddam Hussein’s soldiers put in a very wide range of Kurdish lands. Traumatized and haunted by past memories, she repeatedly attempts suicide, sometime trying to jump from a high cliff and sometime jumping into a deep pond or pouring kerosene over herself. For her, the past is bitter, the present is bitter and even the future is bitter. The life is meaningless to her. What could be the most pathetic and atrocious life than this? Is not that a great catastrophe? How could she dare to live after all that heavy burden of devastation fell upon her? Is not that horrible?
The main part of the movie starts with the scene of many boys along with Soran, another main character of the movie, who is called Kak Satellite, trying to fix antennae on the hill side, just the day before U.S. led invasion of Iraq. This particular scene reveals people’s hunger for knowledge, their inventiveness in the face of horrible poverty. Esmael, an old man, carrying big antennae on his shoulder utters, “Look what Saddam has done to us! We have no water, no electricity and no school. They have deprived us from sky. They don’t even let our TVs work to see when the war will start.” Eventually, they managed to bring a satellite dish from a nearby town to quench the thirst of knowledge about the current news on ongoing situation of their country, after their futile try for local antennae went in vain. Soran is the sole person in the whole village who has knowledge about fixing satellite dish. He also becomes the source of news as he is the only one to translate English news into Kurdish language to the elders and the governor of the village. When he was asked with curiosity what the news is about on the TV, (and since he doesn’t have enough knowledge in translation), he says that it is going to rain the next day which portrays humor in the movie.
Soran seems to be a child of leadership among the children of refugee camps. The young teenage boy Soran works as a breadwinner for lots of children from those camps in the sense that he makes them to collect land mines, diffuses them carefully and trades with some local merchants. Every step of those children was the mark of danger. But still they defy the menace on their way and go for mines collection with no choice. For them it is better to be physically handicapped from the possible mine explosions than to die with hunger. Many of them are without arms and legs and still craving to go ahead in their lives, similar to the turtle with heavy burden of shell over it.
Bahman Ghobadi, an Irani born in Kurdistan, is the director, writer and producer of the movie. In one of the interviews with Bahman Ghobadi, he mentions that those mines made Kurdistan the hardest hit country and it will take long time to get rid of those mines. He also points out that the United States and some European nations sell them to dictators like Saddam Hussein. That is the reason each and every day children in those minefield areas get killed because of mine explosions.
He is the same director of the two famous Kurdish movies: A Time for Drunken Horses and Marooned in Iraq. He focuses the story on the pitiable condition of Agrin, her brother, and Riya, a three year old blind child (found somewhere). They have nobody to take care of them. Instead, they have to take care of Riya. They tie Riya with a rope before they sleep so that he won’t walk out when they are asleep. Agrin is already fed up with her own life and still she has to devote her time to Riya. She fails to commit suicide due to her internal love for Riya though she seems to hate him and sometimes calls him bastard. She wants to leave Riya and go far away with his brother. But her brother wants to take Riya with them. She knows that their lives would be worse if they have to live with Riya. In a Kurds’ culture, taking care of an abandoned child whose information about his or her family background is unknown is a matter of shame. Remembering this point, Agrin thinks about leaving Riya away from them. She more often fails in doing so. Once, after she left Riya near land mine field, Soran saves Riya’s life risking his life. Unfortunately, Soran gets injured with an explosion of mine. At the end of the story, Agrin wins her mission, losing her own life by jumping over the high cliff and taking Riya’s life throwing him into the pond. She does not want Riya to live in that heinous condition as she lived. She frees herself from this merciless world. The most pathetic scene of the movie is the last part after her suicide. Her brother runs in search of her and Riya. He came to know that Riya was drowned into the pond. With an ultimate sense of hope, he dives into the pond to know about Riya though he has no arms. This part shows the glimpse of the turtle swimming in the water. He found Riya inside the pond tied with rope along with heavy stone. After this overwhelming sight, he runs to find his sister and eventually, he found her pair of shoes left over on the cliff. He holds them on his mouth with his teeth. He loses his world without anything left. He cries bitterly, but nothing changed. Soran, too, becomes shocked and wails for painful separation from Agrin whom he cares about. The road where Soran is standing seems to be muddy. American troops step inside the village with tankers. They keep heading towards their village. In this way, the story ends with the entrance of American troops into their land.
Jurgen Fauth, in his review about the movie writes- “Ghobadi sprinkles some magic realism over the film, but the reality he is depicting is so bizarre that it barely registers as unlikely. If ours is a world where infants can toddle through minefields and red fish live at the bottom of sink holes near machine-gun infested borders, and children live in abandoned tanks and treat their toothaches with kerosene, then a mystical oracle is not such an unlikely thing. By showing image after startling image, Bahman Ghobadi makes us question every thing we think that we know” (2005). According to Rob Blackwelder, a movie reviewer, Turtles Can Fly is a tragic yet bittersweet, simple yet spellbinding slice of life's uncertainty (2005).
The movie is able to achieve success in what it wants to convey the viewers. It shows the real condition of refugee children living in one of the villages of Kurdistan. War is the major cause of all the catastrophes that befell in the village. Many innocent people became the victim of it. This is the literal message of the movie. This movie reminds me of those war hit victim children in our own villages.