Flowery beauty

Some Fall Landscapes

"Rape is..."

Published in "The Flor-Ala" (Oct' 27, 05)

(Ramesh Deshar)
“One day the head of the village came to our house accompanied by a man in a military uniform. They took me to the office. They told me to undress. I was terrified. I was trembling and shaking. I ran but I was caught and beaten. Soldiers came and lined up like soldiers lined up for canteen. One pulled his pant down, did it and then another came. I spent the whole day this way. I was unable to get up afterward. This torture went on for several years. I was placed from one place to another. The liberation came at the last. I did come back although my body was completely demolished beyond repair. I could not bear child. How could I after that several years of that horrible abuse? My body was destroyed and my soul was shattered.”

This is a pathetic and atrocious story of a Korean woman, Bok Dong Kim who was enslaved as a Korean “Comfort Woman” raped by Japanese soldiers during World War II, 1941 from the documentary named “Rape is…”

This documentary presents poignant and heartbreaking stories of rape victims in a realistic way. It is half an hour documentary video which shows the ruthlessness and consequences of rape.

The documentary is the production of “A Cambridge Documentary Films” worked out by The Academy- Award winning producer/ directors of “Defending our lives.” This video inspects rape from a historic and worldwide perspective.

The success of this documentary is that it makes you feel the anguish and pain of the rape victims.
 

The documentary opens with the question, “Do you know what rape feels like?” It further moves with the reality that rape happens in the world, in home, in children’s bed room, on dates, in marital bed room, in brothels, in prison and on street.

This document is perfected by the real voices of the rape victims. It evokes the feelings of rape survivors after rape.

“There is a person before you get raped and there is a person after you get raped and that person after you get raped is always longing to be that person before; always trying to go back to that innocence. But they can’t.”

This is what every rape victims feel after they are raped says a rape victim in the documentary.

A woman in the documentary shares about the rape survivors, “Women say all the time that I just can’t seem to wash myself clean enough even I take shower five times a day, before work, after work, get up in the middle of the night because it is something inside your soul.”

This documentary describes rape as a crime against humanity, a kind of death, the end of trust, the theft of voice and a crime against humanity. It points out that any kind of unwanted sexual touch is rape.

It further takes out the issue of rape camps in Bosnia, Sear Leon, and Rwanda where hundreds and thousands of women were raped systematically as a tool of war.

It also elucidates how media images and pornography normalize rape. This documentary not only focuses about rape against women but also presents about the story of rape against men. The male rape victim’s story in the documentary makes realization how men, too are sexually assaulted.

Diane Rosenfeld who teaches women’s studies and legal issues at Harvard University and also a Senior Counsel at the Department of Justice in Washington in her lecture says, “There is not a single woman in this world who does not face the possibility of being raped.”

Eve Ensler, playwright (“The Vagina Monologues”) activist and founder of V-Day which is an international organization dedicated to stopping rape worldwide explains at the beginning of the documentary that rape has long term consequences and one who has been violated spends most of the time recovering and surviving.

The documentary ends with her strong statement, “Our energy should not be spent surviving and recovering. Energy should be spent creating, remembering, directing, and focusing. And if we work to get back that energy, I know the planet would be a completely different place.”

The documentary proclaims, “Rape is… will anger some, upset many and wake up every one who visits it; it speaks on to the reality of a world where sexual violence puts millions of women, children, and men in a state of terror and pain.”

Stop Rape! Fight Back!

I along with my friends performing a step show (dance) during "Home Coming Week" at Flowers Hall, UNA.

Singing a Nepali song at Sodexho, towers cafeteria (dining center) during South Asian food festival

Mary Tyler (third from left) from AED with plusers at UNA

Unborn Article

Ramesh Deshar (CIEP student)
I really love to jot down something when ever I get leisure time. For me a pen and a sheet of paper are my real friends. Expressing my own opinions in a sheet of paper is a kind of pleasure for me. This habit encouraged me to write articles for some newspapers in my home country, Nepal. I still remember that day when my first article was published in one of the daily newspapers. That was a memorable day in my life and I can visualize that blissful moment. I have been here for three weeks in Iowa (and even in UnitedState). Within these few weeks, I have thought about many subjects and topics for the articles. They are all whirling in my mind trying to get their way out. The long and hectic journey from Nepal to U.S and the unusual American food, chilling cold weather (weeks ago) are some of my topics. Besides that I have lots of other topics. The systematic service of the dinning centers, outstanding education system of UNI, polite behavior of the teachers and professors at CIEP, helpfulness of colleagues could be my other topics. Besides that I could start from my own home country, too. The political unrest and the ongoing crises in my country could attract the attention of the readers. Another topic could be Terri Schiavo,who is the main issue of discussion and news of most of the newspapers during these days. I could start writing against terrorism as the whole world is gripped by the terror. Simultaneously I could include an emotion of American megastar Bob Dylan’s song, “Blowing in the wind.”
“How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, and how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, and how many deaths will it take
Till he knows that too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind,
The answer is blowing in the wind.”
Yes, actually many innocent people have lost their lives in the world although they have nothing to do with the ongoing power struggle. Everyday the stories of cruelty, brutality, barbarity, savageness, mayhem, chaos fill the pages of newspapers, T.V channels and minds of people. Every day people are traumatized. So this could be my poignant topic. I was trying to find a platform to express my opinions. And I got the information that “The Northern Iowan” comes every Tuesday and Friday. I was quite happy with that message because at least I knew the name of a newspaper which is published at UNI. During these few weeks I did not miss any issue of “The NorthernIowan.” I read most of the articles especially the Editorial page with various opinions from different writers. On Tuesday (29th March) I got chance to read some of the articles (opinions) which were fascinating. “A columnist’s job is never done” by MATT MUSGRAVE was nice and it really moved me. “Who are we fighting now?” (A closer look) by NED KELLY was another bitter reality which talked about American attitude towards the Iraqi combatants (and other countries). These opinions encouraged me to express my opinions in a better way.Then I realized that I was thinking in my own way about my articles which are yet to come putting readers aside. I was in the mood of enthusiasm just thinking upon my uncreated articles. All of a sudden, question arose in my mind. Who reads my article (columns) by including both sense and non sense opinions? WillI be able to draw attention of the readers? I became afraid that the readers would think that I was a lousy writer. I would for ever confound my readers over whether to take my opinions seriously or chunk them in the dustbin. Anyway I came to know that writers have great responsibilities upon the readers. But what ever be the readers’response regarding my article, I think I should try my best for the best article. I should not turn back because I know thousand of miles start with a mile. Never give up hope and never stop trying. I think that’s the way to start. "Better late than never."
(30 th March'05) Cedar Falls, Iowa

Age of advertisement (Source: internet)

Plus students at CIEP (Culture and Intensive English Program) graduation ceremony (UNA, Iowa)

"Lost Island" waterpark in Iowa

"Ready to roar" UNA football supporters (lions)

Atlantic city, New Jersy

Detroit airport- with my friends Rula and Abdul

My friend (from Saudi Arabia) Abdul's brother's house in Verginia

Plus students from UNI infront of White House (Washington D.C) during one week trip

Evening view of fountain at UNA

Braley Stadium during UNA football match (Florence, Alabama)

Capital building at Des Moines (Iowa)

Unique Nepali flag among many other flags
(Cedar Falls Parade)

A sweet boy with Nepali "Topi" (cap)

"Twice with cops"

Life is uncertain. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. Let's forget about tomorrow for a while. ................ continued...

(AED) Plus program associate Julia Phealen (In the middle)

Symphony of Stars and Seas at UNA (University of North Alabama)

Cultural show program at UNI (University of Northern Iowa)

"Mall of America" - Minneapolis

Nepali Plusers with US ambassador to Nepal " James F. Moriarty"

Chicago Park

"Cherry on the spoon" - Minneapolis

Children with Nepali "Topi" (Cap) and "Madal" (musical instrument)

Identity Crisis

Identity crisis

There was a time when parents used to name their kids with similar names to gods and goddesses. Now, time has changed. The children, after they are grown up, don’t like such names anymore. They want to be modernized. They want modern names and want to be unique. It does not matter whether their modern names are meaningful or not. For them, the names given them by their parents are old and fashioned out. I have many friends who do not like their names. That’s why they chose their own names and now they are hardly known with their original names given by their parents. It seems like the names given by their parents are only for the family members. After they leave the house, they are called with different nicknames.
I have bunch of friends here in the United States who are known with their nicknames chosen by them. They are quite happy with their modern names. Hari, one of my friends, is now, known as "Harry". Now he is even known as "Harry Potter". Only few people know him with the name “Hari”. Harry is famous here in our college. Every young girl knows him. Once I inquired him about his magic name. He told me that he did not believe in god as he was an atheist. Simultaneously, he also told me that he feels comfortable with his nickname as it is easy name for many of his friends.
I have another friend whose name is “Samarpan”. But every one here calls him “Sam”. He told me that once his father called him from Nepal in his apartment and could not talk to him because his room mate told his father, “Sorry! No name with ‘Samarpan’ lives here. Wrong number!!!” Now he tells me that he feels like he lost his self identity as no one knows him with his own name given by their father and mother “Samarpan” which means dedication.
Every Hindus knows that Ram is great god. People have great faith on him. My friend “Ram” is no more summoned with the name “Ram” though his name is “Ram” similar to god “Ram Chandra”. His name here is pronounced as RAM (as a part of a computer, Random Access Memory). He is no more Nepali Ram. Now he is absolutely American RAM.
My friend’s friend Jay who is also my friend has same case. Jay is not a difficult name for Americans. But I don’t know why Jay got his name “Jack”. Once he told me that he did not choose his nickname “Jack”. He told me that he got it from his friends. He felt odd at first when his friends called him Jack but slowly he began to like that name.
One of my friends’ story about his nickname is different from others. He is better known as “Bullet” however his real name is Bharat. Once when he introduced himself with some of his American friends, they could not figure out his pronunciation of “B” and “V”. Then he told them that his name starts with “B” as in bullet. Since then they started to call him with the nickname “Bullet”.
I have my personal experience about my own name. I have many friends who had same name as mine. Some of my friends came up with nicknames to avoid further confusion. But I've never been a big fan of nicknames. Whenever I introduce myself in front of my international student friends, they feel difficult to memorize it. Someone tries to mispronounce my name and tries to call me “RAMS”. But I am afraid that I will lose my self identity. Therefore, I repeat my name more often to my new friends. Now most of my friends know me with my own name. Everyone can pronounce my name easily and correctly.
Every one has his own opinion about his nickname. But I don’t want to be “Harry Potter”, “Bullet”, “Jack” or “RAM (Random Access Memory)” by changing my name. I love my own name with which I am known by my parents, friends, teachers and those sweet small school students whom I taught for some years. I don’t want to be strange in front of those who know me well with my name. I believe that having modern name does not mean that one is modernized. It’s the behavior and endeavor which makes a man modern. "What in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
(17 th Sep' 05) Florence, Alabama