Be who you are

No human being is perfect though it is said that practice makes a man perfect. Every human being is different and distinct in an own way. No two human beings can be same both mentally and physically. Every human being has a distinct feature. The way a person act, work, think and react is some how different from others though there are still some sorts of commonalities among human beings. Hence, every single person on this planet is unique and dissimilar in an individual way. That may be the reason one can not be the replica of another person completely. It is natural that people become impressed from their significant others. However, how hard might a person wish to be the same person as the significant others, those dreams can never be fulfilled entirely. These might be easily possible in fairy tales and some fiction stories but not in reality.
I always dream of having some virtues which my friends possess. To make it come true, I tried many times and also, gave up repeatedly. Sometimes, I become green-eyed not having such desirable qualities with me. I wonder and ponder why I do not possess that excellence for what my friends are bestowed with. I had so many of friends who were really good at memorizing all the questions and answers from top to bottom without even missing a single word though it is not practical all the time. I happened to feel bad when I could not learn by heart like them for the exams. I used to be disappointed and frustrated many more times not having memory power like my friends. I was the only person whose exam answers used to be completely different from the class mates since I always tried to write the answers in my own way. During my school time, I was compelled to believe that the more you are good at memorizing, the more you are good at your study. But I still remember one of my teachers suggesting me to keep it up in writing answers in my own way being creative and constructive. He encouraged me not to learn by heart like my friends and suggested me to keep doing what I had been doing. Since then I completely gave up memorizing the text answers line by line and word by word. Instead, I focused in understanding the contexts which was encouraged by my teachers.
Every coin has two sides. The habit of ignoring the practice of memorizing the notes in the past left me far behind. I lose my patience whenever I have to memorize something especially during the exam time. I become so nervous that I can not even memorize few lines though I can make sense of the context. This side effect can be noticed with me specially when I sit down with my friends and start singing. Unless I look at the lyrics, I can not sing a complete song since I can not remember the lyrics of any song except few songs. I feel myself like dumb especially when I am with “Antakshari” group though I enjoy being a part of such amusing group. Similarly, I always have hard time in remembering the names of the movies and filmy characters and it does not really matter even if I have watched the same movie over and over. In addition to this, I am also worst in recalling the title songs and name of the artists.
So far, it has not been a real problem in my career and personal life for being absent minded in context to the songs and movies. What ever my friends are attributed with and what ever my weakness is, the fact is that I can not be the person who I am not. Therefore, I enjoy being who I am since it is not worth wasting time regretting for what one does not have.

The grass is greener on the other side

"The Grass is greener on the other side"

I have seen many of my friends who are not satisfied with their profession. I have heard much dissatisfaction from their mouths about their occupation. Clouds of discontent have overshadowed their faces. I have also noticed that they were the happiest ones when they first got into their line of work. One of my friends went through so much frustration when he had to be jobless for several months though he tried so hard not leaving any stone unturned. He went through depression and almost lost his hope of being employed in Nepal. He regretted for coming back to Nepal after he graduated from the American university. I still remember him telling me that he should have stayed in the US doing some entry level jobs rather than being unemployed in Nepal. Eventually, before he lost his final hope, his untiring job hunting quest paid him back and got a nice job which he liked very much. He was so much enthralled and excited that he threw a big party to his closest friends including me. His family members and friends were so glad to see him getting a reputable and well paid job. This unexpected success made him think that everything happens for a good reason. He comforted himself saying that he got to stay unemployed for so many months because the best job had been waiting for him. He then started telling other friends not to lose hope at any difficult situation and suggested friends to be optimistic in life. “Life could be prickly and thorny but one needs to know how to do away with prickly thorns on the way,” says he. Once he got the job, he became the man of dreamer. Sense of confidence and contentment got developed with him day by day. The lines of pessimism have gotten rid of his face. He wished he could always be like that.
It has been almost a year since he began his first job after his graduation. Now, I notice that he is no more the same person. It is said that everything changes with time; so is he. Within a year he has already changed his job more than twice. Soon, he no more likes his recent work and thinks that he got stuck with it. Dissatisfaction and displeasure reclaimed in his life. He complains that he got bored of working with new environment and therefore, expects to have a nice break. At present, he regrets quitting his earlier job. He did not realize the importance of his previous job until he lost it. He forgot his ‘self’ and tried finding ‘others’ in him comparing himself more with others. He found the grass on the other side greener. Losing his patience, he failed to bear in mind that other people (as he does) notice the grass on his side greener. His friends still think that he is marching ahead on his career path so well that they dream of following his foot steps. Contrary to what others think about him, he saw the half water filled glass as half emptied.
It is always good to be ambitious and think of better options in life since it is one of the encouraging parts in human lives. Many of the times, this leads to the path of success. However, happiness and satisfaction needs to be discovered within the self since it is veiled within the person. My friend has a dream but his haste turned out to be waste. He became a rolling stone which could not gather moss. I hope my friend will discover happiness soon and notice the grass on his side greener.

Rendezvous with US Ambassadors

Present US Ambassador to Nepal, Nancy Powell (2007) (above) and former US Ambassador to Nepal, James F. Moriarty (2005) with Nepali PLUSers

Flashback of Summer 2006 in D.C.

Date: 10th October ’06
I learned a big lesson from the terrible winter break of 2005. I knew that it would be too boring if I stayed in the abandoned and vacant dorm doing nothing for the whole summer. I had a hard time spending Thanks Giving holidays last year not having anything to do and no where to go. I felt suffocated and depressed during that time. The whole dorm, where I lived, was locked with no visitation policy. I was in a nowhere situation. That was the most dreadful experience I ever had in my life. I do not know how Robinson Crusoe, the title character in Daniel Defoe’s novel, could live alone on an isolated island for many years. I know for sure that I would die with hopelessness in such a situation.
I was excited about my decision to go Washington D.C., the capital city of the Untied States of America, for summer 2006. I had been to D.C. a couple of times before; once during the summer of 2005 for few days as a visitor and the next time for a conference. During January, it was so cold. We went on a sightseeing tour at night due to time constraints. It was not just cold but was freezing cold with damn bone-penetrating wind. I wore the warmest and thickest winter clothes I had, but they did not work at all. I felt I was wearing thin cotton clothes which did not prevent me from that nasty coldness. I would die if I had to stay for more hours tolerating that freezing cold. I was not able to utter a single word. All the warm words which I wanted to speak out of my mouth were frozen abruptly. The coldness made me numb and dumb; it made my body frozen and made me unable to talk. My excitement was lost gradually in that extreme coldness. The tour was not worthwhile at all to me. The Capital building, Lincoln Memorial Building, Library of Congress, Memorial monument, Museums, and The White House, none of them could impress me particularly that night. I wished all those buildings could warm us that night since that powerful political city has power to create hot debate and sensation in the world.
According to my plan, I was in D.C. by the second week of May for a summer internship. After a one and one-half hour flight from Huntsville airport to Ronald Reagan International airport, my friend and I took a cab to The Catholic University of America where we were supposed to stay for the whole summer. The cab took about fifteen minutes to reach 620 Michigan Avenue, Brookland, Spellman building. I was tired that day, but I got relief thinking that we could have lots of fun with our friends. By 10 p.m. that night I became so hungry. We ordered Chinese food from the Hunan Delight restaurant.
I thought D.C. would be cool during summer and would not be as hot as in the south, where I have been continuing my academic courses. I was shocked by the weather of D.C. It was too cold during winter and too hot during summer. I did not expect D.C. to be so hot during summer because of the coldness I experienced during that cold, winter night.
I had an interview with an organization called DirectDialogue some days after I reached D.C. I was excited that it was paid internship. I had to find the location of that organization. I Google-searched the map and took the metro from Brookings station to the Capital South metro station, changing green line metro and blue line metro at Gallery Place, Chinatown and L’Enfant Plaza respectively. I had trouble finding that organization though I had printed location of the direction on a paper. I did not know which direction to follow. At least if I had known one of the directions East, West, North or South, I could have figured out the rest of the other directions and followed the paper direction accordingly. At that particular time, I realized that I had very poor knowledge about directions. Eventually, I found myself asking somebody about that organization, standing just in front of the same organization building. I was happy that I could find the right building. But on the other hand, I almost died since I had to walk more than 20 minutes under the scorching sun. I felt stupid for wearing a suit on that melting day just to be formal.
Some days after, I got an internship at Osgood Center for International Studies. It lies at the John Hopkins University building, close to DuPont Circle, Washington, D.C. The first day of my internship was to attend a book review session. It was at the Brookings Institute, DuPont Circle. Peter Beinart, a Brookings nonresident fellow, was briefing on his published book, The Good Fight: Liberals, Conservatives and the War on Terror.
The next day on June 8th, I went to a hearing at The Rayburn Office building, south of the Capitol on a site bounded by Independence Avenue, South Capitol Street, First Street, and C Street, S.W. The topic of the event was “Review of Iraq Reconstruction.” The chairman, Henry J. Hyde, opened the conference with the news of the death of Abu Musab al- Zarqawi, Iraqi’s most wanted terrorist. He mentioned that his unexpected death was a conquest in the Global War on Terror.
For the whole summer I had been to many events and hearings. Most of the events took place at The Brookings Institute, Rayburn House Office Building, Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, United States Institute of Peace (USIP), American Enterprise Institute (AEI), Cato Institute, Center of American Progress (CAP), Heritage Foundation, Hudson Institute, and Carnegie Endowment. I met experts from the State Department, Department of Defense and National Security Council, members of Congress, leading minds in think tanks, ambassadors, ministers and pioneers in non-profit and non-governmental organizations in those events, hearings, symposiums and meetings.
Continuing my internship with Osgood Center, I started another part time internship with Washington Peace Center. Though I did not have to do lots of work in this organization, I can never forget the day when I had to go around the D.C. to leave newsletters of this organization by walking. It was the toughest job I had ever done in my life. I feel ashamed to disclose that I took geography class for two semesters and still I did not have good knowledge about directions. I was given map directions where I had to leave those four bundles of newsletters on a small wheeler. I was sure that I would get confused with the directions. Thinking that I would at least learn about directions, I did not refuse that work. I had to go around metro stations making 360 degree angle of Washington Peace Center and leave those newsletters at many member shops. I did not know where I was heading, but still I tried asking many people. I revisited the same street many times getting confused about which way to head. Bundles of newsletters fell down from the small wheeler many times which made me awfully tired. I bought some cold drinks to quench my thirst. My whole body sweated as if I was soaked by rain. I walked through Smithsonian museum, Federal triangle metro station, Metro center, and Chinatown. I could not imagine that I walked alone like a crazy person wearing formal dress with tie on my neck. Finally when I reached Gallery Place, Chinatown, it was already late to go back to office. So, I threw a big bundle of newsletters on the dustbin because I did not want to return with that heavy bundle of newsletters.
That day, I had to walk about 2 miles from Brookland metro station to the dorm, which made me more tired and exhausted. After taking rest for a while, I took a shower and lay on the couch in the T.V. lounge to watch the World Cup soccer match between Trinidad & Tobago and England. England scored 2 goals after 83 minutes of the game. That evening, I went to Giant with some of my friends to buy food for the whole week since we had to cook different kinds of food every night for ten people. Giant food store was two metro stops from our dorm. We took a cab from Rhode Island metro station to Spellman hall after we finished shopping.
On one weekend I went to a musical program at Kennedy Center near George Washington University. After the ode performance from a renowned musician from Iraq, there was a break for about 20 minutes at that evening. Everyone attending at the program stepped out of the building to watch the sun set in the west across Arlington, Virginia. The Potomac River below the Kennedy Center was another attraction to many viewers. We could see colorful reflection of the sunset on that river.
DuPont Circle Park was another place which fascinated me most of the time when I was tired and wearied. Most of the South Asian restaurants like The Mount Everest, Polo India, Thai herbs, or Hunan Chinese food lie at the peripheral distance of the park. The fountain at the middle of the park and grassy ground with many tables and benches to sit down made the park more attractive.
Among all the places I had visited in D.C., The Washington Monument and The United States Holocaust Museum were unforgettable. Washington D.C. seems to be well planned when viewed from the topmost part of the monument. It helps visitors to see a spectacular sight of fine-looking D.C. The intersection roads were very straight and the buildings built together at rectangular shapes showed well-organized town planning of D.C. The Jefferson monument at the middle of the beautiful Potomac River was so clear and fascinating especially, when observed from the monument. The mesmerizing Washington monument was built in honor of George Washington, the first president of United States. Typically different from Washington monument, the Holocaust Museum diverted my mind for many days. I saw the videos of many kinds of persecution of European Jews. The Nazis murdered about six million Jews in Germany during World War II.
The other famous places which visitors do not want to miss in D.C. are The White House, Smithsonian Museum, American Indian Museum, Air and Space Museum, National Gallery of Art, Capital Building, Lincoln Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, National Museum of Natural History and so on. The most interesting part about these museums is that most of these museums have free entrance.
Over all, I was more than happy that I could utilize my time doing internship in D.C. being far away from boredom and depression. I also got credit for those internships. The most important thing is that I learnt more about D.C. and met many people. D.C. is an important place to be visited once in a life time.

Turtles can fly

Date: 24th October ’06

Turtles can fly

I did not know that turtles could fly. I never heard this before, but I knew that turtles can swim in the water. After all, I got confused when I heard the movie entitled Turtles Can Fly. The title made me curious to watch the movie. The next thing which created enthusiasm in me to watch this movie is because I have a friend from Kurdistan and the movie is about the story of refugee children living in the border of Iraqi Kurdistan. The movie is in Kurdish language. The subtitle in English made it easy to understand the story. Before watching this movie, I had little knowledge about Kurdistan, the Northern part of Iraq. I also heard that Kurds have no friends but mountains. Through Turtles Can Fly a real picture of the life of the refugee people in the border of Iraq is portrayed well. Children without hands, arms, or legs who are the victims of the horrible time in Kurdistan are shown strong in working hard and risking their lives for the sake of their survival. Though they look like turtles in physical appearances, these types of turtles are different in ideal because they are very powerful that they can fly.
I found this movie to be one of the best movies I have ever watched in my life. This is not like a movie for me; it’s a depiction of the real lives of many destitute children in Kurdistan, near the Iraq and Turkey border. The most important part of the movie is that there is nothing imaginary; every thing is about the real pathetic story of the children. I felt like I was present in some parts of Kurdistan and watching the kids with a gasp of desperation. I could envision their heart breaking and ruthless lives. The non professional characters in the movie seem to be playing their own role. The movie contains horror, humor, honor and compassion.
The movie starts with a suicide attempt by Agrin, a teenage girl, one of the main characters of the movie, whose parents were killed by the soldiers of Saddam Hussein during terrific chemical attack at Halabja, one of the towns in Kurdistan, in 1988. Agrin, who is merely a teenage girl, was raped by the soldiers. She came to another village with a three year old blind child and her armless brother who lost his both arms because of land mines that Saddam Hussein’s soldiers put in a very wide range of Kurdish lands. Traumatized and haunted by past memories, she repeatedly attempts suicide, sometime trying to jump from a high cliff and sometime jumping into a deep pond or pouring kerosene over herself. For her, the past is bitter, the present is bitter and even the future is bitter. The life is meaningless to her. What could be the most pathetic and atrocious life than this? Is not that a great catastrophe? How could she dare to live after all that heavy burden of devastation fell upon her? Is not that horrible?
The main part of the movie starts with the scene of many boys along with Soran, another main character of the movie, who is called Kak Satellite, trying to fix antennae on the hill side, just the day before U.S. led invasion of Iraq. This particular scene reveals people’s hunger for knowledge, their inventiveness in the face of horrible poverty. Esmael, an old man, carrying big antennae on his shoulder utters, “Look what Saddam has done to us! We have no water, no electricity and no school. They have deprived us from sky. They don’t even let our TVs work to see when the war will start.” Eventually, they managed to bring a satellite dish from a nearby town to quench the thirst of knowledge about the current news on ongoing situation of their country, after their futile try for local antennae went in vain. Soran is the sole person in the whole village who has knowledge about fixing satellite dish. He also becomes the source of news as he is the only one to translate English news into Kurdish language to the elders and the governor of the village. When he was asked with curiosity what the news is about on the TV, (and since he doesn’t have enough knowledge in translation), he says that it is going to rain the next day which portrays humor in the movie.
Soran seems to be a child of leadership among the children of refugee camps. The young teenage boy Soran works as a breadwinner for lots of children from those camps in the sense that he makes them to collect land mines, diffuses them carefully and trades with some local merchants. Every step of those children was the mark of danger. But still they defy the menace on their way and go for mines collection with no choice. For them it is better to be physically handicapped from the possible mine explosions than to die with hunger. Many of them are without arms and legs and still craving to go ahead in their lives, similar to the turtle with heavy burden of shell over it.
Bahman Ghobadi, an Irani born in Kurdistan, is the director, writer and producer of the movie. In one of the interviews with Bahman Ghobadi, he mentions that those mines made Kurdistan the hardest hit country and it will take long time to get rid of those mines. He also points out that the United States and some European nations sell them to dictators like Saddam Hussein. That is the reason each and every day children in those minefield areas get killed because of mine explosions.
He is the same director of the two famous Kurdish movies: A Time for Drunken Horses and Marooned in Iraq. He focuses the story on the pitiable condition of Agrin, her brother, and Riya, a three year old blind child (found somewhere). They have nobody to take care of them. Instead, they have to take care of Riya. They tie Riya with a rope before they sleep so that he won’t walk out when they are asleep. Agrin is already fed up with her own life and still she has to devote her time to Riya. She fails to commit suicide due to her internal love for Riya though she seems to hate him and sometimes calls him bastard. She wants to leave Riya and go far away with his brother. But her brother wants to take Riya with them. She knows that their lives would be worse if they have to live with Riya. In a Kurds’ culture, taking care of an abandoned child whose information about his or her family background is unknown is a matter of shame. Remembering this point, Agrin thinks about leaving Riya away from them. She more often fails in doing so. Once, after she left Riya near land mine field, Soran saves Riya’s life risking his life. Unfortunately, Soran gets injured with an explosion of mine. At the end of the story, Agrin wins her mission, losing her own life by jumping over the high cliff and taking Riya’s life throwing him into the pond. She does not want Riya to live in that heinous condition as she lived. She frees herself from this merciless world. The most pathetic scene of the movie is the last part after her suicide. Her brother runs in search of her and Riya. He came to know that Riya was drowned into the pond. With an ultimate sense of hope, he dives into the pond to know about Riya though he has no arms. This part shows the glimpse of the turtle swimming in the water. He found Riya inside the pond tied with rope along with heavy stone. After this overwhelming sight, he runs to find his sister and eventually, he found her pair of shoes left over on the cliff. He holds them on his mouth with his teeth. He loses his world without anything left. He cries bitterly, but nothing changed. Soran, too, becomes shocked and wails for painful separation from Agrin whom he cares about. The road where Soran is standing seems to be muddy. American troops step inside the village with tankers. They keep heading towards their village. In this way, the story ends with the entrance of American troops into their land.
Jurgen Fauth, in his review about the movie writes- “Ghobadi sprinkles some magic realism over the film, but the reality he is depicting is so bizarre that it barely registers as unlikely. If ours is a world where infants can toddle through minefields and red fish live at the bottom of sink holes near machine-gun infested borders, and children live in abandoned tanks and treat their toothaches with kerosene, then a mystical oracle is not such an unlikely thing. By showing image after startling image, Bahman Ghobadi makes us question every thing we think that we know” (2005). According to Rob Blackwelder, a movie reviewer, Turtles Can Fly is a tragic yet bittersweet, simple yet spellbinding slice of life's uncertainty (2005).
The movie is able to achieve success in what it wants to convey the viewers. It shows the real condition of refugee children living in one of the villages of Kurdistan. War is the major cause of all the catastrophes that befell in the village. Many innocent people became the victim of it. This is the literal message of the movie. This movie reminds me of those war hit victim children in our own villages.

A Garden of Dreams

(Picture by: Sarah)

रमेश देशार
Ramesh Deshar
Chapagaun-3, Lalitpur, Nepal

New Nepal or Better Nepal?


Is there a measurement for how much is too much and how far is too far? Is there an ending point for the everyday mortifying situation of Nepal? The overall situation of Nepal is getting worse each and every second. When we compare with a physical anatomy of the human beings, there is always an ending point. And the finale point is death. No one can escape from it. It has never been possible to be an exception except in the fairy tales and fictions. However, the debasing situation in Nepal seems to have no ending point though. Contradictory rules here!! Will there be the cessation of all the misdemeanors in Nepal?
We all the Nepalese people waited and waited; the more we waited, the more we fell apart, far and far behind, so hard to get back. We are in a big mess. Every thing is out of track and dysfunctional. At present, the country suffered from every kind of disease and need to be prescribed every kind of medicine at the same time? How possible is it? What will be the impact of it? The country is so weak that it has no power to stonewall. And the worst thing is that the malicious vampires and leeches in the form of humans are still sucking the blood of the country knowing the fact that the country is already frail. For this reason, many of the Nepalese people already lost hope which is their last resort. Many people by now stopped to be hopeful in Nepal. Every single day is becoming longer and longer for them. The dazzling and sparkly faces of Nepalese people are decreasing bit by bit.
We have already seen our new Nepal by now. We don't want it to be newer anymore if same iniquitous things keep happening in the name of New Nepal. This is not what we want. We had a dream that our New Nepal would have love and respect for everyone. But we are behaving as enemies with each other in our New Nepal. We already lost our honesty, politeness and sincerity and developed hatred amongst all our brothers and sisters. We are hostile to each other. Just as a minor example- The way we treat and behave with the conductors and the way they treat passengers show how respectful we are. Are not we aggressive to each other in our New Nepal? In our New Nepal, nothing is certain; nobody knows when and which part of the country will have a strike or Banda? Why everyone repeats the same way to show dissatisfaction over some one with Banda, strike and demonstration creating havoc for many people? Why we Nepalese people never think about others? We curse when others initiate strike or Banda but we forget the discomfort and loss of many when we set off strike or Banda. Isn't there any other better way to show discontent?
Besides this, why we Nepalese people are one step ahead only in talking worthless issues? Don’t we think that we talk too much? We argue about everything including political situations blaming and pointing everyone for today’s New Nepal, claiming ourselves clean and descent. We should also remember that when we point out others with a finger to blame, rest of the fingers point towards us, too. We talk and talk and simultaneously, watch and watch but never realize that we are part of the whole nation and are responsible for every mayhem in our country. We, citizens are watching; blaming and fighting with each other and waiting political leaders to change the system of Nepal. As spectators, there is a difference in watching the movies in a theatre and watching dirty live games of the country. We can not just sit down watching the game being played by foul players; we should think that we are part of the game, too. We could only win this national game only when we all show our unity regardless of different caste, group, ethnicity, and religion. Why can't we have reconciliation among all the Nepalese people once again as we had during April Revolution for better Nepal? I would prefer to say better Nepal instead of New Nepal since our New Nepal has foul smell. (Go around Kathmandu valley, you will smell it.) If we really do not think and act for better Nepal, we would soon be close to Darfur in Sudan and Rwanda (genocide of Hutus and Tutsis).

Reverse Culutre Shock

Reverse Culture Shock

Published in The Kathmandu Post

Ramesh Deshar
http://kantipuronline.com/kolnews.php?&nid=120410
One can expect that life in Nepal and America is completely different and is therefore, incomparable. So, when I came back to Nepal two months ago, after completing my graduation from the US, I was scared that I would get reverse culture shock in my homeland. Nevertheless, I did not experience any remarkable culture shock as I had expected before. Instead, to my dismay, I found strange kinds of changes with the people I met and talked after my return home.
The first change I noticed among our young generation is that no one is satisfied with what they are doing at present. Everyone is expecting miracles to shower in their lives with great pessimism and faint hopes. Almost all the youths want to get out of this country in one way or the other, may be being students or overseas employees. No matter what they do in foreign countries, they just want to be in the land of opportunities inhabited by the rich. After hearing such remarks, it feels like every nook and corner of the village echo with frustration and uncertainty.
For many, our country is no more a right place to live anymore and therefore, people do not hesitate to connote it with a cursed land. The idea that stepping into foreign nation is the only panacea for those living in a cursed-land with cursed lives has engulfed the mind of present generation of our country. That may be one of the reasons why many of my friends had curious questions to ask me after my return from the land of opportunities. I could easily read in their faces that they have high expectations from me as if I have landed from heaven to earth and that I possess some magical powers. After a brief greeeting, almost everyone put forward the same questions to me.
‘When did you come back?’
‘When are you going back?’
‘How long will you be staying here in Nepal?’
‘How will you adjust here?’
Besides, I was also assured by many that there will not be shortage of jobs with handsome salaries and beautiful girls. When my friends came to know that I am not going back to US, they have something different to say.
‘If I were you, I would not be returning Nepal and do not even care being illegal there in the US.’
‘Why didn't you try to stay there forever?’
‘You are stupid to dare to come back Nepal.’
‘What will you do here in this war-ravaged country?’
Given above are some of the questions I have been answering and the bitter remarks thatI have been hearing since I came back to Nepal. These reactions from my relatives and friends make me feel that I did something wrong by returning to my own country. Such remarks penetrate right through my heart and give me acute pain. Consequently, this has given rise to some questions that always haunt my mind, ‘Is Nepal really a wasteland?’ ‘Did I really do a mistake in coming back to my own motherland from a foreign country?’ People crack jokes about me when they hear that I came back to Nepal even though it is my motherland.
There is another group of people that I have met who only want to have some sort of knowledge about money. They shot questions of this type:
‘Is it easy to earn money in the US?’
"How much does a normal person earn?’
And then finally, their query ends with, ‘How much did you earn?’ I would not be hesitating to tell what I earned during my stay in the US for two and half years if at least they try to believe me. I don't want to answer these questions anymore because none of my friends believe me when I tell them I did not earn money except a university degree and experiences within these two and a half years. I know that I am a big liar in the eyes of the people who question me when I tell them that I did not work and earn money in the U.S.
The most shocking thing is that I have not met any person, either educated and uneducated, who at least would say that it was not a wrong decision to return to my country and that one day it will pay me back. I know I would also be thinking in the same stereotypical way if I have not had first hand experience of being in a foreign land.
Nonetheless, I expect to meet some one who at least would warmly welcome me for my decision to come back to Nepal and would inspire me to do something. Otherwise I would be asking myself, "Did I really do a mistake coming back to Nepal?" I am looking forward to reading the book named "The Art of Coming Home" by Craig Storti.

A for Awareness

A for awareness
Published in Kathmandu Post By Shreeya Shakya
Every morning as I savor a glass of juice to get started for the day ahead tuning into the many radio stations, it infuriates me early in the morning whenever I hear some patriotic song about building the 'New Nepal' and people talking about justice and peace who still keep their guns at close distance and those talking about equal opportunities and fairness when they are still the ones who are misusing what is bestowed on them.
Everybody knows the talk of the town. The rather quixotic 'new' Nepal, the elections in suspended animation, the long queues everywhere and for everything and the massive exodus! The people's revolution had promised a bright future for Nepal and today as it is evident, we are still in square one. Almost all of us blame the politicians and policy makers for lagging utterly in making amendments and progress. For me, that is half truth. It is true that the people in ranks are not doing justice to the assigned responsibilities. We, the general public, are always cornered just because those people have failed to deliver and all we are left with is the feeling of despair and frustration. But we also need to look to the left and to the right and judge whether we are ready to embrace the new Nepal or more aptly are we ready to build the 'new' Nepal hand in hand with the government? I say NO. Of the so many things that haven't changed after the revolution, our attitude is one of them. This is one of the reasons why it infuriates me whenever I hear patriotic songs every morning emphasizing on the elusive 'new' Nepal.
Singing songs is not enough, debating the national anthem in blogs is not enough and criticizing the government blithely avoiding our immediate responsibilities is not correct. What is seriously lacking in Nepal is awareness among the general public. As long as we have educated people crossing the road right under the overhead bridges, new Nepal is not possible. As long as we have educated people eating 'chatpates' , 'pani puris' along the road side right in front of heaps of garbage and as long as we have educated people walking on the road leaving pavements empty, new Nepal is not possible.
Dreaming of an immediate new Nepal where literacy rate is barely 50% is a utopian dream. Awareness comes from education and sense of responsibility and we can only hope that, in years or probably decades to come when our literacy rate improves, a true new Nepal takes shape. To build up a new Nepal, we now should teach our kids that 'A is for Awareness' and not 'A is for Apple'. It's been way too long 'A' has been for 'Apple' and those educated people who are acting ignorant are the ones who mugged up Apple and thought 'A' could be nothing except for 'Apple'. Before building the 'new' Nepal, we should first build ourselves. Before jumping into action and running into the streets (something we have cultivated in leaps and bounds after the revolution), we should first be aware of what should be done and what is right. Then only can we be hopeful of building 'our new' Nepal and not just a 'new' Nepal.
Another factor which is crippling our nation is the fact that so many educated people from whom we can expect some sense of awareness are either leaving the country. But I have sat with some people who want to stay here and explore possibilities and provide opportunities. I have also shared the same space with hundreds of youth who stood up with respect and love for the country and sang along the song Jungi Nishan Hamro in chorus. I have seen touch of awareness among these people and am hopeful it spreads wide. It'll take time for it to grow and till then we just have to be patient. Maybe when I'm 40, I shall get to see 'A is for Awareness' etched in everybody's mind and next thing then looming in the horizon would be 'A is for Action'.

Happy Bijaya Dashami 2063

Happy Bijaya Dashami 2063

Summer, DC

You don't have to be in Germany to touch Berlin Wall. (Virginia)

Summer in DC

Arlington Cemetry, Virginia (With Krishna Dai)

Again back to Alabama

After one whole summer break, we had to come back to same university though we did not like. It was our destiny. No choice. But after all it is not bad to be back to college as we really don't have enough time to get bore. Papers and tests always keep us busy.
We had lots of fun in DC along with many friends. It's really difficult to be back from DC after having so much fun.

From DC

It's long time that I haven't updated my blog. Now I am gonna update it regularly. After long time we five Nepalese plusers are getting together. It's great fun to be together. Nepalese food, Nepalese music and so on.....But DC during summer is really hot. It's really difficult to walk outside during day time. Just yesterday our AC in our Catholic University of America dorm did not work well. Because of that the whole dorm was so hot and it was like staying infront of fire. It has been alreay two weeks that we are here. We have not visited any particular place yet. We still have more than two months. So, we can visit some other days.
The population of DC swells during sumer because of interships. There are many INGOS/NGOS in DC area. Therefore, many people come to this place for intership. That's the reason, it is very hard to get internship in DC. I still hunting for internship. I heard from one organization. This coming Monday, I have an orientation in one organization. I guess it is a good organization. Actually, I heard from some other organizations for internship but they were not very good. They were fundraising companies. It seems like they are like saving groups in Nepal. One has to go door to door and make members. At the same time, this work is very hard. One has to work from 2 pm to 10 pm. Henceforth, I did not go there.
Life here is very expensive. Therefore, we cook Nepalese food every night. It is great fun to cook and eat together.
to be continued...........

Thanks buddies.... for attending my birthday party.

From which side....right or left?

We are all ten from Nepal.

Plusers enjoying Nepali cuisine at Taj Mahal restaurant, Washington DC

Glowing capital building, Washington DC

Mathilda and MaryTyler, PLUS enrichment seminar certificate honoring program, Jury's Hotel